I thought about calling this post, “I know your not actually working out if you’re wearing that”, but that seemed harsh so I decided it made a better first sentence. How long ago was it that wearing fitness gear for life became an okay thing? Don’t get me wrong I have zero problems with that! But it’s led to trends in fitness gear that make literally no sense. So sit down, buckle up and lets get a bit snotty!
Super heavy running jackets
Where are you running that it’s that cold? Waiting in line to pick up your kids I get it but getting your cardio in, no I don’t. I’ve run in temperatures close to -20 Celsius (less than 0 F) with one stiff win in Canada but never, ever have I wanted a super warm bulky down filled a jacket to restrict my movements. If you actually moved in them they would make you so sweaty, dehydrated and too dang cold even in winter! If you’re wearing this I know you won’t be elevating your heart rate in it today. If you were you would layer up and wear a thinner, cheaper shell to cut the wind. That means you can take off and stash the layers as needed.
Mesh Cut Out leggings
Super cute and they’re everywhere right. Truthfully I got a pair from my sister for Christmas and I’m chaffed to finally have some but… What exactly are the conditions that lead you to go today calls for mesh cut out leggings! It would be a day where full pants are too hot yet a mid leg calf capri would be just too dang hot. When are parts of your legs too hot for pants but the parts right next to them too cold for shorts? Plus if you’re actually exercising in them why would you possibly want more seams to potentially chaff you? All of this leads me to think you’re not actually exercising today if I see you wearing them.
Capri pants even
Basically see all of the above except think too hot for light pants but too cold for long shorts. This one doesn’t automatically make me think you’re only grocery shopping. That being said I got ‘em, I wear ‘em and I run in ‘em!
Super expensive workout clothes
I’m not going to name anyone but I’m looking at you huhulemon! Certain brands of fitness gear are popular pretty much just because they are expensive. No matter what you buy exercising will wear it out sooner rather than later. Running in a shirt for an hour is akin to a week or more of wearing an article of clothing normally. Frankly some of these brands of stuff (nudge, nudge) have reflectors on the back of the leg (where no one will see them) and the fabric is too thick for most things and too slippy for others. I few people have given me some huhulemon gear but I wouldn’t workout in it since it’s so expensive I want it to last. You’re wearing overpriced yoga pants to daycare pickup because you want to be comfortable AND still let people know you can afford nice clothes!
Weirdly expensive desirable (often ugly) sneakers
When you run or workout in shoes you wear them out shockingly fast. Even if you only run 15 k a week they might be done inside 8 months. If I happened on free yeezys or air Jordans I would wear them out (probably not) or sell them on the web and buy three other pairs of running shoes that would last at least two years! I now your cruizin’ for style not sweat if I see you wearing these.
I’m prepared to hear I’m the only one that this applies to but I literally almost never run or workout in a tee shirt. I used to when I first started running but now it’s not something I almost ever put on with one exception my nike skateboard tee. So why is this well It’s usually a long sleeve lightweight top that I can pull up the sleeves on, sometimes a tank or just a sports bra. If I do wear one out I end up rolling the sleeves up into my armpits. About the only time I wear a t-shirt wile working out is if it’s a race tee. I just never seem to need to have my shoulder tops covered but my forearms exposes when I’m out there. The exception being an almost cropped loose fitting nike tee I picked up while thrifting. It’s part of my warm weather long run uniform. It’s loose and glows in the dark. I usually end up folding it up and tucking it in the back of my sports bra and have only taken it out once when it got breezy. But having it there is like a, “what if I get cold?” security blanket. I know I might be an island on this one but You’ll almost never see me sweating in a classic tee.
Yoga balls, thigh masters and other weird junk
Have you ever picked up some weird thing in a clearance bin for an impossibly low price and thought $4, score and right after wait I don’t need this. I actually own some of this stuff and I get it people are hard to shop for and I might be the CEO of those people. I’m not a stuff person, a homebody that’s never home and no one has ever successfully sold me stuff that is fancy for fancy’s sake. But I research what I buy, buy what I want for myself when I want it but it still turns out to be a short list. But now that I’m thinking about it I might not own it next week. So being impossible to shop for I have received two hard balls in a mesh bag called yoga balls, not sure what they are actually for but you can lay on them and it feels weird, but weird good. I did that once. I also like tea but I make it in a mug like a normal person, but like a really big (800 ml) mug with tea bags. I was given a super delicate glass tiny one mug teapot with a strainer compartment, I used it once and it sits on the shelf because it seems expensive and like it would break if I put it in the donate box. However squeeze balls, hand strengtheners and ab rollers are all long gone. If something seems gimmicky, was sold on an infomercial chances are you don’t need it. That being said I still regret getting rid of my total gym.
White workout wear
I’m noticing a theme here, it’s not nice but… my sister gives me a lot of trendy exercise stuff that’s not really filling an urgent need. Like the white merino wool running shirt from two years ago. However I appreciate and still wear this one. When merino wool got trendy a few years ago I ignored it because if I even read a tag that says wool I get itchy but that wasn’t the case with this shirt so it’s a win overall however it’s white. A few months later when I wore it to her house to run her dog, which is probably why she’s so supportive of my running and she asked me what all the stains were disappointedly and I said spit. She said I should have lied to her since she bought it for me to spare her feelings. At that point… I told her it was probably snot since spit rarely stains. She said that was gross! There in lies the problem with white workout gear, it gets icky looking quickly. It has stains of lets just say unknown origins on the front and well the armpits are just embarrassing. But it has turned out to be the super warm yet neutral coloured undershirt to Christmas themed running outfits and I still wear it on the regular. Light colours are great for visibility but I doubt you’re rocking that crisp white tech shirt to the gym.
Super thick athletic hoodies
Lululemon makes these super expensive, super thick scuba hoodies that have become a status symbol. As such they have also become pretty popular. Were one company has success others quickly follow. Lets just be honest these are jackets and nothing else. They don’t even allow enough movement or breathability to actually do anything in.
So what fitness gear have you beens sucked into buying with no decennial use? Or… ideally is there a niche use for these things I just haven’t thought of?